Mr S , the big brother

The first reaction of many people on hearing the news of my 2^nd pregnancy was a delightful congratulations followed by completely unwarranted statements like ‘Oh, S will feel lonely once the baby comes, he might go into a shell, you won’t be able to give time to the elder one once the new born arrives and many more similar statements. No one told me how the joy of watching kids grow multiplies, how beautifully the kids will bond, how it’ll be double the fun and adventure and how amazing it would be to watch your eldest blossom into a fiercely protective big brother!

That’s what I’m here to tell you about 😊

S was the first person we shared the news when the pregnancy test came out positive & he has been an integral part of the journey ever since. We celebrated by getting him his favourite cake and a book on becoming a big brother. He was the one who made our pregnancy announcement artwork (picture above). The curious little fella who was 4 months away from turning 3 began asking questions and instantly related this to how George pig was inside mummy pig’s tummy in his favourite show Peppa pig – monitored screentime can actually be productive!

He and I started tracking the baby’s progress via an app which used to show the weekly progress and relate it to the size of a vegetable or fruit. Every Saturday he promptly used to check in on what fruit the baby resembled & then announced it to everyone at home in his adorable screechy tone! I would highly recommend this book to anyone expecting a second child (SHOP HERE)

He accompanied us to every ultrasound and was mesmerized by watching something move on the screen. My gynaecologist being the sweet person that she is made it a point to bring him along with her to monitor the baby’s heartbeat and made sure he heard it during every single visit. I still remember how around the 38^th week, he nonchalantly asked her if the baby now resembled a pumpkin or a watermelon and that only when its in the size of a watermelon, he/she can come out of amma’s tummy – he had his own monitoring going on to complement the doctor’s! This is one of my favourite memories of the pregnancy journey!  

In between all this, he and I spent a lot of time together doing things like dropping him off to school every day, reading countless story books, making new art works every day, shopping for the baby according to his colour and print choices (little Miss had an entire wardrobe of clothes which majorly had only dino prints coz that’s how obsessed little Mr was before his sister arrived), celebrating his 3^rd birthday in DINO style and so much more..It was a memorable period barring the chaotic start with all of us contracting covid and little MR contracting an additional illness , dengue!

One thing which kept us going in the right direction was to have loads of conversations with him about the journey and what to expect after the baby arrives in terms of breastfeeding, mumma’s recovery, how there is a support system in place to take care of his needs while I’m at the hospital, how long it’ll take for us to be back home and so on. The only thing to be kept in mind is to make it relatable and understandable to the child based on his age so that it is easy for them to take in. Don’t discount the child’s emotional capabilities based on his/her age! You’ll truly be amazed to see the results when you start logically explaining things rather than sugar coated lines like ‘Won’t you do this for mumma?’ ‘I will only say what’s good for you’, ‘you can’t ask why, that’s how it should be’ and many more lines that we have all heard around us! Encouraging questions, discussions and conversations around pregnancy, tummy size, baby arrival, breastfeeding and everything else increases the excitement in the child and prepares them better!

It truly lies in the hands of the parents to make the transition from being an only child to a sibling seamless and comfortable. We also showed him pictures from his birth time and the different milestones he attained which got him excited! All these were done and we were all set!

Just like I wished for, he was at the hospital when I delivered and met his little sister few minutes after she arrived on planet Earth! That first glance in itself was one filled with so much joy and he was giving out a shy smile not knowing what else to do – Innocence, joy, excitement, scared – we felt it all at once from his look!

Cut to the next phase – We got back home and were settling into a routine. S made his own routine of cuddling with his sister the moment he woke up every morning…every single day! He used to spend few minutes before school by her side with B/W cards, spoke in his own language to her while gently holding her hands. I can never take that image out of my mind. It truly is that image which can instantly make all your worries fly away! Of course there were times when he wanted only me by his side to feed him lunch or dinner or get him ready to school and those were the times when without a thought, I used to jump in immediately while someone else handled S2. Some extra cuddles and a few extra minutes of laughing over our favourite story were instant mood lifters , oh and extra pampering with toys and books were always enjoyed😊 In the postpartum stage , I couldn’t find the time to rest and sleep as much I did during the first time simply because I made the choice to use S2’s nap times to spend time with S and that worked wonders in him not feeling any different than how our times together were before the sibling arrived.

I made sure to keep him by my side during the breastfeeding sessions, kept connecting with him or just let him be there doing his own thing like a jigsaw puzzle or an artwork while narrating some tale from his school. He was always a part of his sister’s entire day and that made him feel included. His first question when he rushed home from school would be to ask if Shobana was awake or asleep? If it was the former , he used to run at lightning speed to cuddle her! It was only obvious that she gave out her first smile to her dearest brother and he was over the moon. Till date, her responses to him are so reflexive and the laughs and smiles looking at him are the loudest – it is so enchanting to watch the sibling relationship bloom into such a beautiful flower!

He celebrates every small action she does, he finds joy in letting her pull his hair, he is fiercely protective and doesn’t let anyone say anything to her, he says ‘amma it’s okay’ when she doesn’t want to eat, he ensures she and him are always in colour coordinated outfits (even when I’m a little lazy , he is the one who ensures I find something matching!) , he makes her laugh with his own jokes and sounds, he dances and sings for her , of course there are times when he doesn’t want her to break a structure he is building with his blocks and wants us to lift her , and he takes care of her like she’s his little princess!

This is them. This is Shreyas & Shobana for you all.

I only wish this bond grows and becomes stronger as they grow! There is absolutely nothing better than watching these 2 grow – I can do it all day, every day and I’m so glad V & I made the decision to bring into this world another child 😊

This is one of the finest experiences that life has offered me and I’m cherishing every bit of it. It definitely comes with a dose of exhaustion, fatigue, sleepless nights, relay races to feed them, put them to sleep, tantrums , demands etc, etc, etc but ITS ALL WORTH IT!